Dueling Lovers

The Dueling Lovers FAQ

So what exactly are Dueling Lovers, Mosylu?

I'm soooo glad you asked that! Dueling Lovers are those couples for whom fighting is a strange and twisted form of flirtation, who would rather spar than coo. They can be total opposites, or way too much alike. They can be on the same team or have diametrically opposed goals. Sometimes there are genuine issues between them, other times it's just the force of their personalities that make it all go kaboom. But they eventually figure out that, even though they may not make a lick of sense to the outside world, they just can't make it without each other.

What aren't Dueling Lovers?

Those people you see on Jerry Springer, the kind throwing chairs and ugly words, who are back together in six months and divorced (for the third time) a year later. Those aren't Dueling—those are Destructive. And I don't do Destructive. Important distinction here: while Dueling Lovers may Duel, they do not Destroy. They get mad, but they don't get mean. They may hurt each others' feelings by accident, not knowing they have the emotional power to wound, but they wouldn't do it deliberately.

Fair enough. So who are some classic Dueling Lovers?

Much Ado About Nothing's Beatrice and Benedick are probably the original and classic Dueling Lovers, quickly followed by Jane Austen's Elizabeth Bennet and Fitzwilliam Darcy. Others, such as Star Wars' Han Solo and Leia Organa, abound. Note: I do not and will not ever include Gone With the Wind's Scarlett O'Hara and Rhett Butler in that list. As far as I'm concerned, they're too selfish and self-absorbed to ever be anything but Destructive.

So what's the deal? Why do you like them? Aren't sweethearts good enough for you?

Are you joking? Romeo and Juliet bored me by the second stanza. Titanic's Jack and Rose make me ill. Where sweethearts are often “us vs. the world,” dueling lovers are “us vs. ourselves.” From a writing/reading standpoint, internal conflict is always more fun than external. Plus, there's only so much of that “pearl in an Ethiop's ear” crap I can read without needing insulin. Dueling Lovers' interactions are lively, sexy, and frequently hilarious.

Okay, why are there illustrated pictures on this page when there's perfectly pretty actors to represent the couple?

Because that's not the original. Adaptations are just that, adapted. They can come pretty close to the original, but they're not it. I'm not obsessed with Colin Firth's Darcy and Jennifer Ehle's Lizzie, although I loved 'em. It's Jane Austen's original couple that I cheer for the loudest. When I have a couple picture that's from a movie or TV show, that's because the movie or TV show is the original and definitive.

You've converted me! Who are some of your favorite Dueling Lovers?

See below! And if you want to see if I've written about the couples, just click the pix.

Pride and Prejudice: Fitzwilliam Darcy and Elizabeth Bennett

With what immortal words of love does Jane Austen introduce her couple to each other? “She's tolerable, I suppose, but not handsome enough to tempt me.” Niiiiiiiice. Lizzie and Darcy are the Dueling Lovers of all time as far as I'm concerned. With wit and manners both, they spar their way through misconceptions, broken hearts (other peoples'), and a really ill-timed proposal of marriage. But when all the debris is cleared out of the way, they both realize that it's only with each other that they're the best selves they can be.

“ Rurouni Kenshin”: Takani Megumi and Sagara Sanosuke

The Rooster-Boy and the Fox. The hard-drinking gambler and the classy lady. The bare-knuckle street fighter and the doctor who'll patch him up again. On the surface, they're like north and south, but the Bakumatsu (Japanese Civil War) left its scars on both their hearts, and it's just possible they could heal each other. Because Sano and Megumi weren't the main characters of “Rurouni Kenshin,” devotees of this couple have to read between the lines. But when they do, there's a rich mine for fanfiction.

Harry Potter series: Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger

Of the Trio, Hermione is the brains and Ron is the loyal, gutsy brawn. Hermione may be able to figure out their schemes, but it's Ron who'll jump into them feet-first. Contrary to what some fanfiction would have you believe, they do not always fight, and neither are they only friends because of Harry. Yes, Ron never loses a chance to mock Hermione's know-it-all tendencies, but he'll risk detention to defend her from that same accusation from anyone else. True, Hermione regularly feels like beating Ron about the head and shoulders, but she knows full well she can always turn to him when she needs him. They're a perfect match because they don't match at all, and don't we love 'em for it.

“ Joan of Arcadia”: Luke Girardi and Grace Polk

He's Joan's little brother. She's her best friend. He's a bespectacled geek (excuse me, “man of science”). She's a leather-jacket-wearing anti. (“Anti what?” “What do you got?”) For most of the first season, his love was unrequited, but the season 1 finale found them in an unexpected (but not unwelcome) liplock. With her acerbic style and raging fear of intimacy, among other issues, Grace Polk probably comes the closest of anyone on this page to being a Destructive Lover rather than a Dueling one. Luckily, Luke's patience and non-linear thinking have served to keep her off-balance and in check. Maybe the only good thing about the cancellation of this excellent series is that we no longer run the risk of seeing Grace turn Destructive.
 

“ Firefly”: Malcolm Reynolds and Inara Serra

Mal Reynolds keeps asking himself why he's drawn to this lady. She's everything he hates: an Alliance-supporting, fancy-dressing, coldly practical prostitute. But she's also Serenity's mother figure, the one everyone goes to for comfort (of the nonsexual kind). Mal himself has been known to hide in her shuttle. As for Mal, he may be nihilistic, sarcastic, and downright nasty sometimes, but he's also the deeply honorable father figure who keeps this unlikely family together and flying.

This is another couple that occasionally nudges the boundaries of Destructive vs. Dueling. Whether or not Mal and Inara can ever get over their issues and just be together is a question that the series was canceled before it could answer. The movie, which came out at the end of September 2005, left that question open, but with hope for a positive outcome. Well, that's something.

“ Earth 2”: Devon Adair and John Danziger

The driving force behind the entire colonization and now the leader of the group, Devon's going to get her crew of fifteen from the crash site to New Pacifica if she has to kick their asses the entire way. John was hired as head of ops for the colony ship, became a reluctant colonist when it crashed, and over time Devon's even more reluctant right-hand man. She's the cock-eyed optimist to his unrelenting pessimism. She's the one with the big plans and a personality forceful enough to suck everyone in, but he's the nuts-and-bolts guy who figures out how these plans are actually going to happen. And if he occasionally has to battle back the desire to chuck her off a cliff and she constantly has to remind herself why she can't run him over with a dunerail, well . . . that just makes it more interesting.

It's a darn shame that the series was canceled before the writers could start to explore the possibilities for this couple. Oh well . . . that's what fanfiction is for.

First “Star Wars” trilogy: Han Solo and Princess Leia Organa

“Hey, Princess, you're gonna get kissed.”

“Yeah? That's what you think.”

Chronologically speaking, Han and Leia were my very first Dueling Couple. I read (yes, read) The Empire Strikes Back at the age of ten and completely fell for the ice princess who's only ever let one man get through her guard and the irrepressible mercenary who's only ever let one woman matter. What could be better for a princess than a guy who'll never quite take all that royalty crap seriously? And for a guy who operates completely by power of bullshit, a lady who'll call him on every steaming ounce is the best thing in the universe. Long live the Nerfherder and Her Highnessness!

“Much Ado About Nothing”: Beatrice of Messina and Benedick of Padua

Talk about classic Dueling Lovers. While this play isn't terribly popular among academics, who tend to favor “Romeo and Juliet” and “Othello” and other such drags, this is definitely my favorite play. B&B, and all their friends, make such a to-do of how much they fight that you know from the beginning they're meant for each other. Check out their first exchange:

“I wonder you will still be talking, Signior Benedick. Nobody marks you.”

“What! My dear Lady Disdain! Are you yet living?”

“Is't possible disdain should die while she hath such meet food as Signior Benedick?”

Honestly, don't they sound like an old married couple? But when push comes to shove and things look dark, like any good Dueling Lovers, they're there for each other.

“Veronica Mars”: Logan Echolls and Veronica Mars

In the first episode, she planted a fake bong in his locker. He retaliated by vandalizing her car. Aw. Can't you feel the love in the air? Uh . . . yeah.

At fifteen, Veronica was sweet and innocent and never would have gone near a train wreck like Logan Echolls. Of course, to be absolutely fair, back then, Logan wasn't nearly as much of a train wreck as he is now. But then the girl who was his girlfriend and her best friend was brutally murdered, and their lives seperately hit the skids. Now that the new sharp, sassy, PI-in-training Veronica is on the case, things are unraveling again.

Okay, I admit it: Logan is one messed-up kid. I mean, anyone who's introduced to the audience as “the obligatory psychotic jackass” has an issue or two up his sleeve. But Veronica's no fairy princess either. They were apart, together, apart, together, and apart throughout the run of the series, but one thing Rob Thomas never left you in doubt about was how important they were to each other.

“It Happened One Night”: Peter Warne and Ellie Andrews

If you haven't seen this great movie, you're missing out. I could give you a laundry list of reasons why, but the biggest one is its fabulous Dueling Lovers.

Spoiled Ellie Andrews runs into just-fired newspaperman Peter Warne on a bus. Sharp as a tack (once he sobers up), he realizes that she's the famous heiress that's just escaped from her father in order to be with the man of her dreams. In exchange for the story, Peter offers Ellie his assistance in getting to her love. She grudgingly accepts, and they both hope they won't kill each other en route.

The wit and the feathers fly as this society gal and this down-to-earth guy attempt to work together, and as much to their surprise as the audience's, they make a darn good team. Ellie learns a little something about how the other half lives, and Peter realizes that spoiled or not, she's still the only woman who's ever been able to keep up with him. Check out the wedding scene, surely the original source of the cliché and topping all its copycats by a mile.

“The Cutting Edge”: Kate Mosley and Doug Dorsey

When hockey player Doug Dorsey sustains an injury that effectively ends his career, he thinks his life is over. Then he gets an offer to skate for a living again. Two problems, though. One: it's pairs figure skating. And two? His partner is a prima donna that nobody else will partner with. This should be interesting.

The movie pretty much has the same plotline as every other sports movie ever made. Unlikely underdogs go for the big time and – surprise, surprise – actually make it. Ooops, I ruined the end. The reason I keep watching this movie is to see the sparks fly between Kate and Doug, who are a perfect example of complementary opposites, both artistically and in terms of personality. Where this movie also shines is in showing how these two people transform each other and themselves from arrogant sports prodigies into mature athletes.

Anne of Green Gables: Anne Shirley and Gilbert Blythe

"Anastasia": Anya and Dmitri

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